BY: “ALISON COOK”- WITH ADDITIONAL INFORMATION BY “ADA’MARK OGBOLE”
MRS. ADA MARK OGBOLE WROTE ON HER FACEBOOK WALL👇👇👇👇
Please take time and read this.
It may speak to you as it did speak to me.
ASKING FOR HELP
(The Risk of Asking for Help and How to Do It Wisely
By Alison Cook – original title)(edited by me)
Is there really a risk in asking for help? Recently, the question was asked: “Why is it hard for you to ask for help?” Here are some responses categorized:
*I don’t want to feel like a burden.
*I might be rejected.
*What if no one gets it? What if no one knows how to help me?
*I fear it will be used against me as leverage.
*I feel bad asking, because other people’s problems are bigger than mine.
*I’m used to helping others. How can I ask them to help me?
*People see me as strong. I don’t want to let them down.
*I feel like I need to wear a mask to look good like others.
*I don’t want to be judged
*I’ll be seen as weak or a failure.
*I was taught I wasn’t worthy of love. How can I believe someone will help me now?
*No one believe I don’t have
Not unfamiliar responses and also there are the everyday stories . –
*Many struggling to pay the bills, feed, move around to search for daily living;
*others dealing with painful dynamics with abuse no one seems to understand.
*Some feeling isolated and alone even within church communities.
*Stories from those who are used to being depended on as “strong” that asking for help would launch a sort of identity crisis. The narrative goes like this, “If I drop one ball, they’ll all come falling down. I just have to keep juggling them all.”
Understandable too, right?
When we say to someone, “I need your help,” we make ourselves vulnerable.
And, vulnerability comes with risk. No one can tell you that you won’t get hurt if you decide to reach out for help. You might. Please know that it is worth the risk, and don’t give up trying ( you will never know if you don’t try).
NOTE dearly beloved.
*For every friend who gives you a pat answer, the usual cliché, or tells you to pray more, there’s someone who will listen with compassion.
*For every pastor who tells you that you have no reason to feel lonely or on the margins of your church, there’s another one who will say, “I get it. I want to help.”
*For every family member ( this is the one that hurts the most) who blames you for your situation, your financial predicament, there’s a counselor, friend, or neighbor who will say, “I see your pain and how hard you’re trying. I’m with you in this.”
People can hurt you when you make yourself vulnerable in a time of need. But, please hear me: DO NOT GIVE UP.
Be assured —for every person who minimizes your pain, there is someone who will get it.
There is someone who will listen, who will enter into your pain with love and compassion, and who will help you with practical care.
For every horrible example of “help” offered to suffering people, Angels show up, in multitudes.
Some real-life examples are when:
—a companion shows up just when you were ready to give up on love.
—a new boss comes in who gets you and helps you rebuild your career brick-by-brick.
—an acquaintance or neighbor emerges as an unlikely but steady, loyal rock.
—a support group or church community helps connect you to just the right resource.
—a counselor you turn to really and truly sees you.
This is heaven showing up for you – learn to recognize it.
For every risk there is in asking for help, there is out there some reward. There is a lot of pain out there, but there are ALSO the beautiful handwork of angels showing up in unexpected ways.
Asking for help is vulnerable. And yes you should be cautious in how you seek it. You may expose your vulnerabilities to those who will exploit them. Jesus called it casting your pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6).
But, if you’ve bumped up against some swine, don’t let it make you bitter or discouraged. Instead, get wise, build up your courage, and try again.
I have been there severally, felt the fear, guilt, and shame. I have in the process of asking for help been mistreated, given clichés, taunted, abused, disrespected even by family but I can tell you angels have also shown up for me just as many times. Help from unlikely sources – heaven’s answer.
Please don’t shut the door because someone didn’t do it right. Happy Sunday, God bless you.